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*asterisco aclaratorio:
De ahora en adelante, lo más probable es que encuentren en esta humilde página las historias de Carlos y sus amigos (personajes de una historia mas grande que estoy escribiendo). No esperen cosas inteligentes, como las de antes (¿)
Ese día Carlos había empezado más o menos bien. Logró escribir unas tres páginas de corrido, algo tan inaudito que para ser sincero equivale a que el Chavo del Ocho sea un producto presentado ante el palacio de Buckingham… y que guste (¡). En fin, venía con una velocidad mental de 340 Km/h tirando datos de manera magistral, haciéndose loas de su capacidad narrativa… hasta que Matías. Siempre Matías y su llamadita.
-¿Hola? Preguntó inocente Carlos
-¿Mm.… qué hacés? Retrucó Matías masticando…
Carlos comenzaba su ritual para cada llamada de Matías: agravio, sarcasmo, hacerse el distraído.
- Que al pedo que estamos, ¿eh? ¿Ni para comer dejas de jugar a ser Mirta Legrand? Empezó Carlos.
-Eh? Deja de hacerte el inteligente que Corki haciendo fuerza para cagar tiene más cara de vivo que vos.
-Sos un boludo importante. Y lo sabés. Te dije que no me llamés hasta el mediodía que quería escribir.
-….Son las 3 de la tarde… lo de boludo ahorrátelo que quizás lo cobres en la próxima llamada que te “despierte” como a las 12 de la noche.
-¡¿Son las 3?! ¡¿Por qué no me avisaste?!
-¿Seguís llamándote Carlos o el consumo de hormonas te puso en histérica? Espero que me estés jodiendo… levanta el culo de la silla y venite a casa así terminamos la misión del juego.
-¡Canto el joystick sano! Gritó Carlos.
-Puto
Para ir a cualquier lado Carlos primero tenía que solucionar el desastre natural que era su vida hogareña. Del piso tenía que levantar la ropa, ciertos elementos nutritivos… como papas fritas, chizitos o un pollo al espiado y estudiar la topografía del dormitorio en busca de esas hormigas ínfimas que pueden dejarte en bolas en nano-segundos. Eso era la fase 1. Después venia la fase… 2 (obvio) que era la batalla entre el bien y el mal. O conseguir que prendiera el calefón.
El calefón para esta altura de la vida de Carlos y sus amigos ya no era un instrumento inanimado, facilitador de lo que fuere… el calefón se había ganado un nombre: Wordak. El nombre nació de un brainstorming con sede en la casa de Jorge hace algunos meses y en virtud de darle un sonido identificador a las características de Orco gigante proveniente del infierno que habitaba en las áreas del lavadero de la casa de Carlos.
La fase 2 nunca fue fácil, de hecho era lo que motivaba a vivir a Carlos porque le daba un sentido de aproximación a la muerte. Como ir a una montaña rusa del viejo Italpark… con los mismos mecánicos.
Así que puso en marcha la fase 2 tras culminar la… 1, obvio. Se paró frente a frente con Wordak.
-¿Pensaste que no aparecía más, no? Le habló desafiante Carlos al calefón.
Tomo el magiclick,, se puso su casco metalúrgico y se dispuso a morir.
(Aclaración para aquellos que no estén familiarizados con la situación (¿): Wordak alguna vez entró en erupción y voló a la mierda la mitad de la cocina. Al parecer alguien del service lo arregló pero Uds. saben como es ésto….)
Carlos inhaló profundamente y prendió a Wordak. Exhaló con alivio y lo despidió con una mirada sarcástica para dirigirse a bañarse. Como era de esperar Wordak tenía un as en la manga. Lo de “temperatura regulable” había dejado de ser una potestad del usuario para ser una de Wordak…
Tras superar esa aventura del Poseidón que es tomarse el 140, Carlos llegó a lo de Matías. Era tarde de Winning Eleven y apuestas. Tardes de coca colas y clásicos mundiales como Irak – Israel o Argelia – Francia.
